School is back in session! For college students, the joys of football, tailgating, new friends, and beautiful fall colors can come with a few uncomfortable tradeoffs. Whether you know a freshman diving into campus life for the first time, or a returning student ready to tackle another year, the back-to-college transition can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Here are some ideas for how to support your favorite college student.
Validate mixed emotions
Significant life changes including moving, schedule/routine shifts, and changing social networks can be stressful for anyone! Add on demanding schoolwork, and some students may start to bend under pressure. When you’ve been looking forward to college for years, it might be difficult for some students to be forthcoming with feelings of stress. It may help to hear from a loved one that this is a normal part of the experience! Help them to remember that it is okay to experience contradicting beliefs. For example, “I’m having fun with my friends, and at the same time, I am feeling homesick.” A care package or updates from the family pet may also bring your student some comfort during their first stretch away from home.
Offer guidance when necessary
Parallel parking, laundry, time management, personal finance, communication with housemates – all of these are classic struggles in one’s college years! It’s okay to have skills in some areas and struggle in others. You may receive a few panicked phone calls here and there… Communicate openly with your student and offer help, even if it is with the basics! Allow for questions and mistakes and remember, we all start somewhere. Sharing experiences from your own young adulthood can help your student embrace the messiness this stage of life often brings. Often college is the first time students put living skills and life lessons into action on their own. Welcoming questions with patience and emphasizing the teaching moments that come with mistakes can help to keep healthy communication open. This can ultimately encourage your student to build their independent living skills because they know it is safe to try, fail, and try again without shame.
Remind them of their “why”
Who knew you had to take Greek Literature to get into medical school, or Astronomy 101 to become a lawyer? Pre-requisites, general education, and elective credits can feel pesky when they don’t seem relevant to your end goal or career. However, for better or for worse, they are part of the college experience. It can be hard to remember that when you’re up past bedtime studying for midterms! Reminding your student of their big-picture goals can help them maintain sight of why each part is important.
Let them know you’re proud of them.
College is a big decision, and while it comes with a lot of pride and spirit, it is a huge transition! Put judgments aside and celebrate all the efforts your student makes, regardless of the results. Everyone’s timeline looks different, and it is okay to experience some bumps in the road. If your student is struggling, showing empathy during times of distress is as essential as praise when they are doing well. Lastly, do encourage efforts to reach out to support people on or off campus. A little extra support might help smooth out that transition.
(Article guest-authored by Carolyn Robbins LMSW of Still Waters Counseling)
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